Someone said to me once, “Kim, there is never any reason for anyone to be rude to you.” If only being rude was all we have to worry about in some relationships. Now I’m saying, “There is never any reason for someone to verbally or physically abuse you. Never.” Read below for signs and resources. You deserve to be loved.
Look for These Signs:
Threatens suicide or homicide. If he says he will kill himself, understand that this likely means he will kill you as well.
Fantasizes about homicide or suicide. If he sees this as a “solution” to his problems, he may attempt it. Beware of your abuser threatening to kill himself. Usually, it means he plans to kill you first.
Possesses weapons. If your abuser owns weapons and has used them or threatened to use them in the past, he has a potential for lethal assault. The use of guns is a strong predictor of homicide.
Ownership issues. If your abuser believes you “belong” to him, or “death before divorce,” his behavior is more likely to become lethal.
Idolizes you. If your abuser idolizes you, or depends heavily on you to sustain him, and has isolated himself from others, it is likely he will retaliate against you if you decide to end the relationship.
Separation violence. If your abuser believes you will leave him, and he can’t imagine life without you, he may try to kill you. Many homicides occur when a woman is leaving her abusive partner.
Escalating danger. When your batterer begins to act more and more as if he has no regard for the consequences of his actions – legal or otherwise – you are at an extremely increased risk of danger.
If you see any of these in your abuser, you should know that your relationship could become deadly. Please take caution and call the Alabama Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-650-6522 for immediate help.