1) Safe communication.
The first step to security in relationship is to build healthy and safe communication. Both you and your partner must feel safe to tell each other what you feel and think in your relationship. You must also be able to listen to, understand and affirm what your partner is feeling and vice-versa. This means that you and your partner must learn how to identify, label and communicate your feelings effectively across to each other.
2) Refrain from Pre-Judgment
In the course of your relationship, there will be times when you do not understand your partner, why he/she acted the way they did and/or why he/she feels a certain way that you cannot comprehend. It is important that you stay calm as such feeling is completely normal in a relationship. However when such things happen, you must refrain yourself from pre-judging the event by calling your partner crazy, stupid and etc. This will indirectly break the sense of security that your partner has for you. Instead support their temporary behavior by affirming it and encourage them to let it out on you and at the same time assuring them that it is safe to do so.
3) Room for partner to express feeling
In addition to the above, you must also provide the room for your partner to express their feeling freely and safely regardless of the situation. Regardless whether, your partner is happy, sad, excited and etc, you must allow them to express it even though you are not feeling the same. Therefore it is important to learn that you cannot forbid, dictate nor criticize your partner’s feelings at any time when your feelings are not in tune with theirs.
4) Understanding your partner
Understanding your partner is the best way to improve the sense of security in your relationship. In other words, we must always understand our partner’s feeling or view on the subject. Each person has different expectations on their sense of security when it comes to relationships due to past experience, therefore it is important for you to realize this fact. In order to have mutual and better understanding on sense of security, you must discuss it with your partner with open heart. Perhaps, the best way to be trusted is to be truthful to yourself and as well as your partner.
5) Support each other emotionally
Finally, the most important security factor in a relationship is the ability of the couple in providing emotional support to each other. Learning to read or identifying your partner’s emotional level at any given point of time is the first step to emotional support. The next step is learning to give the appropriate emotional support the moment you detect any emotional changes in your partner. The ability to detect and support your partner’s emotion will make a big difference in your relationship especially when it comes to trust.
The above five steps will help you to improve the sense of security in your relationship. They may look difficult to be practiced but with sheer determination and patience, you can do it with ease as it will becomes easier and easier when you start to see improvement in your relationship.
About the Author
Alex Chew is the webmaster of Perfect-Relationship.com and the author of several relationship e-books. He specialized in LDR and has been actively involve in helping romantic couples on their journey through his research work and books. For more resources on relationship advice, you can visit http://www.perfect-relationship.com.
Security & Communication in a Relationship
1) Safe communication.