1Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others,faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, receiving gifts, and quality time are Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages [http://www.5lovelanguages.com/]. He has narrowed our needs down to these 5 categories and teaches that one must know their partner’s greatest need in order to love them in the way they will perceive as loving. Basically, if someone does not like gifts and you buy them all the time as an act of love, then you may as well be speaking a foreign language. Some people do not need physical touch (affection). Some people would rather you take out the garbage rather than say loving things, etc. I agree that we all have greater needs in some categories than others (and some may not need anything from one of these categories), but I think most of us love them all to some degree. My opinion is this – if you are serving your loved one, loving them like Christ loves you, loving them with that 1 Corinthians 13 love, you will demonstrate all 5 love languages.

I think 1 Peter 4 speaks to loving through affection, words, actions, gifts, and time. If you are offering someone some of all of this on a consistent basis, then I would qualify that as loving “each other deeply”. The text states this type of love will “cover over a multitude of sins.” It is so true that we can overlook many frustrations when someone is giving to us in a deeply loving manner. The text goes on to say we should “serve others…speak the very words of God…serve with the strength of God” meaning spending time with your loved one, offering to help with things that need to be done (willingly and without complaint), offering words of love and adoration (at least 1x daily), giving thoughtful gifts (not expensive – thoughtful), and offering the physical touch they need in order to feel loved (and yes men, this one is greater for women – we love to hold your hand, snuggle, your arm around us, hugs, etc…most of us, anyway.)

The challenge today is to go to the link above and take the love language test, and ask your partner to take it also. Discuss the results. Get to know their true needs and meet those first. Make sure you are giving in all 5 categories though, and I truly believe you will see amazing things happen in your relationship.

Can you give all of the love languages in 1 day? I think you can 🙂

It all comes down to this: Love is not just being with. It is also giving to, doing for, speaking up, and reaching out. Just showing up is not enough. Love is a choice. You chose this person. Love is a promise. Love is a verb. Love has to love daily and deeply. It isn’t a hobby, a habit, or only there for when you need it or to fulfill certain needs. Love is a ministry. When you take someone’s heart in your hands, you are taking the greatest responsibility on this planet. When you have your children, they are yours. A part of you. When you take on a romantic love, you choose that person, therefore you are saying I choose you – and choose to understand how very amazing that privilege is to me. Love looks at a partner as a gift. A treasure. Do you find out how to take care of the things on earth you treasure? If someone gave you a football signed by your favorite team during a championship game, would you play with it out in the mud and leave it outside to ruin? If someone gave you a diamond ring that belonged to a queen, would you leave it by the sink, just to fall down the drain? No. You choose to take care of things you value as rare and precious treasures. The heart you hold in your hand is a greater treasure than all earthly things. Choose to figure out how to love them…every day.

Love me tender
Love me sweet
Never let me go
You have made my life complete
And I love you so

Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For my darling I love you
And I always will

Love me tender
Love me long
Take me to your heart
For it’s there that I belong
And we’ll never part

Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For my darling I love you
And I always will

Love me tender
Love me dear
Tell me you are mine
I’ll be yours through all the years
Till the end of time

Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For my darling I love you
And I always will

Kim Crawford

2.9.18 revised

07.13.14