I think we have one purpose and one main desire that we all share.
Each and every one of us wants someone who will love and care about us.
Babies don’t thrive without human touch and intimacy.
Children feel less afraid if they know someone is nearby.
Even if the someone is actually a stuffed bear or bunny, having that someone to hold, makes them feel more secure.
I am not alone.
Our lives being with family, and we quickly add friends, neighbors, schoolmates, coworkers, and others.
Some days the person that makes you feel the best, is the stranger at the store that let you go ahead of them in line, or someone on an elevator validated your own feelings that it has been a long week.
Just someone who shows you some kindness, makes you feel seen, helps you feel heard, makes you feel valued, can change your day.
We try to figure out who is best for us to date or marry. What personality would fit ours the most?
There are dating sites that claim to figure out your perfect match.
Yet, two people are always going to be two different people. No two people are the same.
No two people are ever going to be perfect for one another.
So, how can we be in a relationship with someone and remain fulfilled with them if we have all these differences?
What is it people want from one another?
How can we work beside the same person day in and day out?
How can we have a lifelong friendship with someone or a marriage until death do us part?
I think there is one thing to understand.
One thing that we all want.
One thing we can do that summarizes every book about relationships that has ever been written.
We can give one another rest.
We are seeking rest from one another.
We want to be around someone who makes us feel loved, heard, validated, seen, and is fun, compassionate, funny, caring, responsible…someone safe.
We want someone who is our safe place to land.
Someone who gives our busy brains, weary bodies, and strained souls rest.
Jesus said it.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
Whatever someone brings to us:
Sadness, gladness, anger, or fear…our response should be, “Come, I will give you rest.”
If we approach every conversation with the goal, “I will give the person(s) in front of me rest” how can we go wrong? This does not mean we have to cower to others, or agree with something we don’t feel is right. It means, we offer a safe place for this person to express and share how they feel. We should let them know I’m listening, I’m here, I care…I give you rest. We can seek mutual understanding, consider options, brainstorm, explain, and ask questions…all while giving rest to another.
We do not, and will not be exactly like another person, thankfully! How boring that would be. But, we can have a growing, thriving, and beautiful relationship, if we only have the same goal together to give one another rest.
Come, to me. I will give you rest.
Here is my heart. Rest is all it wants from you.