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What to Say When Someone is Hurting/What NOT to Say

We have all been in positions where we don’t know what to say when someone is grieving, sad, angry, afraid, etc…

Don’t Say:

It happened for the best.

Calm down. (Let me them express how they feel)

Don’t cry.

Don’t worry, you can have another baby…you have other children…

I know how you feel.

What are you going to do?

God needed another angel.

Just get over it.

Be strong. (What does this mean?)

Shhhh…there there.

Comments to try:

I’m so sorry.

It’s okay to cry.

I’m listening if you need to talk about it.

What may I do to help?

May I get back with you later to see how you are doing?

Tell me more…

Why do you need to be strong right now? It’s okay to be whatever you need to be with me.

I can’t imagine how this must feel.

I would be angry (sad) too. Seems normal to feel this way.

Of course you feel this way.

How may I pray for you?

There are no words to describe this.

Some things we certainly cannot understand.

What do we know, that we can focus on.


What word (or Scripture) can we say or think that may bring comfort?

I care.

I love you.

I’m here.

08.03.15 kim crawford

One comment on “What to Say When Someone is Hurting/What NOT to Say

  1. Use “breathe” often.


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